Posts Tagged ‘girls’

teensTeens live in our house, visit our house and talk about all kinds of interesting subjects in our house. Having both a teen son and teen daughter can almost guarantee that a variety of conversations will and have taken place in our house. Do I dread it, hate it, fear it? Absolutely not! I embrace it! Yet with the fun and sharing comes the challenge for me to be informed and faithful to stay in the Scriptures. Do I have all the answers? Not hardly! The latest subject, which is common to the guys and the girls, has been about purity, modesty, responsibility involved and well, you get it! So, I thought I’d approach the subject on my blog too, just to share what we’ve come up with according to Scripture.

Now, before I go any further, by no means do I advocate us blaming the victim for physical or sexual abuse inflicted on them by another. It is not your fault if you’ve been hurt physically, sexually, emotionally or mentally by someone else! PERIOD!

Let’s take churches for our first finding. (I actually researched this online so it wasn’t shared yet with my teens.) Teen boys and men in churches are not exempt from struggling with lusting over Christian girls or any females in the church. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed ADULTERY with her in his heart.”  It is their responsibility to exercise self-control and seek scriptural and spiritual help in dealing with these temptations. “Temptation in itself is not a sin. Jesus was tempted (Heb. 2:18; 4:15), yet Jesus never sinned (2 Cor. 5:21). Therefore, temptation is not a sin. It only becomes a sin when you yield to it.” ( Ladies, know this: No, their sins are not the fault of us females!

HOWEVER, it is also our responsibility not to be a stumbling block for them. Matthew 18:6, “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Not out of law but out of obedience to God are we to dress modestly. Yes, I know that word isn’t a favorite and can be widely misinterpreted so don’t get hung up on the word so much as the meaning behind it when used in Scripture. Guys and men are just as responsible for causing a female to stumble too. People in the church will tell you how hard it is to be trying to listen to the sermon or worship in music and to be distracted by a guy in tight jeans or girls in a low top bending over to get something. No, it’s not on you that they are dressed that way but it is on you, on us, to look away. Example: My husband blessed me and respected me just recently in church when a young lady started to bend over and he already knew her top was low so he looked away before she actually showed anything. I caught the end of it, saw what she was showing, probably unknowingly, and saw my husband’s eyes looking the total opposite direction. That was a choice to resist the temptation. Is it easy? No way! But with God’s help, it is possible!

Teens may think there’s absolutely no reason to be concerned with the way they dress but teen guys have told me how hard it is for them when a girl isn’t aware or does it on purpose to entice them. The Bible speaks harshly about that girl or guy who purposely dresses to get that sort of attention. Some teens don’t care what others think but God cares how we, as Christians, portray ourselves to others and that is what He means by our causing someone else to stumble. Not caring and saying “it’s their fault if they think perversion about me” doesn’t exempt us from our part of the responsibility. But first you have to actually care what God says before you even choose to obey Him. As Christian teens and Christian adults, we should choose to obey Him and His direction.

There are tons of statistics proving the huge struggle evident, yet somewhat hidden, in churches today, in youth groups even. Females aren’t as visual as guys so there are different temptations for lust for us but if you only knew the extent of the struggle our boys and men go through, on a daily basis, then MAYBE, we females would try harder to help them and not add to the struggle. We are to show God’s love and not caring about them and their struggle is not loving them. It’s not helping!

Guys: you can help us females by not giving so much attention to the females when they do dress immodestly and tempting so that we, who are trying, don’t feel less than beautiful! We like attention too and like to feel gorgeous but when you’re focused on low tops, short skits, short shorts, tight jeans, females not sitting or acting like a lady and don’t give us the respect and attention we deserve, you’re sending us the wrong message! No, we shouldn’t be dressing just for you but c’mon! It’s a two way street out there with guys & females and it’s about time we both take responsibility for our individual parts of the actions and hold each other accountable, but in love, not judgment.  Sisters: let’s go out of our way to dress and conduct ourselves in a way that our beauty is more from the inside out then from the outside in. Don’t take this to mean that we have to dress covered head to toe or conduct ourselves perfectly but even though the Bible doesn’t say specific items of clothing like only wear “God’s Girl Clothing”, we should go to The Word for guidance. If you have doubt, don’t wear it. “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” (Colossians 3:12-14 MSG)