Actions have Consequences….

Posted: December 25, 2012 in Just Me
Tags: , , ,

…even if it’s from someone else’ actions! We’re living proof of having to live “their” consequences.  Allow me to explain a little more…

4 years ago my husband was employed and we were living in our country dream home and loving life! In the blink of an eye the phone rings and everything changes! My husband was informed his company was letting him go.  Aside from literally breaking his spirit they broke us and shattered all our dreams. The end result was hopping from temp job to temp job trying to find something comparable, me going back to work part-time while trying to home school our two kids and finally losing our dream home. Nothing we could do would save our home nor pay the insurmountable bills. Needless to say we became “cash only” type customers from then on. Certain limitations occur when you’re “cash only”.  What does all this tend to create: well, besides the normal bitterness & anger toward his former company and our former mortgage company (who were very unwilling to extend any help) which have subsided since then, it also created a jealousy-something that really hurts and is embarassing to admit. It seems the whole world continues to move forward while we…..maintain. Every time some one gets the dream car, dream camera, dream home, dream job or takes that dream trip that I want, I end up back on my knees before God. It starts with anger, moves to sadness, then ends with Him reminding me what I do have and how many things we’ve been through together as a family because of some one else’ actions. Yeah! It stinks when it happens, especially since it’s one of those “out of my control” type things but I’ve pretty much gotten used to it on this earth.

Although other humans seem to have control over my life and my circumstances God doesn’t hesitate to remind me that He’s really the One in control! He has a plan for me, for my family, even while living out their consequences. Will we ever get our dream home? Will I ever be able to afford my dream camera and live my dream of being a photographer one day? I don’t know but I don’t want to be afraid to dream again for fear of some one causing me to lose those dreams again. I’m so ready…..so ready to dream and to be able to be happy again & not jealous for others and their dreams coming true too.

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