Words Fail Me

Posted: November 8, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

“Dear Heavenly Father,
I am so broken, so sad and so emotionally drained. This path we’re on is hard and isn’t getting easier. We’ve fought as hard as we can fight! We’ve done what we were told was right! We sought Your wisdom and Your guidance, You carried us this far! Are we supposed to quit now? I read the other day that sometimes even the right path can have detours. Is that the case? What do we do Lord? We aren’t blaming You! We aren’t doubting You! We trust You even today! The phone call that would never come I had to initiate myself! I had to beg someone on the other end to put it in my face and tell me what we dreaded hearing.  As YOU know, we’re losing our home.  It’s still not real to me! They lied, they’ve been so evil and now they’re taking our dream home away from us. Even after a heart-wrenching, emotional outburst earlier today, Nov. 8, 2010, there’s still some small part of me who needs to know – is there anything left for us to do God? We’ve even set back and waited for them, for You, for anything! Is this it! I know my sweet babygirl is right when she says ‘God’s plan is always better than anything else!’ I do know this to be true. My humanness won’t let me understand! It won’t let me know if our part is over, do we rest now? Is the fight over God? Do You have something much better in store for us? I don’t think it’s fear I’m feeling, it’s sadness like a big hole in my heart! Why did we try so hard just to end up here? I love the time we’ve had here and no one can ever take away the memories we made here! Let them be dishonest and deny us our home but they can’t take the closeness we’ve gained to You! They can’t take the awareness that my children have today! They can’t take our heart or our love in this family for each other! They might be able to hurt us now but they can’t touch our eternal home! Oh, to be on that side one day! I can’t wait, God! So much on this earth is evil and hard but I know You have a plan for us to stay here, even if it’s not in this house, on this little piece of heaven You’ve let us enjoy for almost 4 years, but on this earth. We’ll wait on Your timing! We’ll continue to praise You while we wait for You to bring us home! We’ll enjoy peace in knowing You are always Good, always right and Your will is what’s best for us, no matter what! Thank you for meeting me on my knees so many times today and during this journey! Thank you for taking me just as I am. Thank you for giving me a “hug” through Your assurance of my future! Something I haven’t looked forward to in a while! I love You Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen”

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