My God Gets Me!

Posted: August 23, 2010 in Just Me
Tags: , , , ,

When did I become verbally challenged? Was it when my son became a teen? Nah, even before then actually. Was it when my husband lost his job and I had to constantly explain our situation to companies who wanted to be paid? How about when I hit the big 40 and my body took a turn in the wrong direction, leading with my brain losing all memory capability, well a huge supply of it anyway? I don’t know exactly when it all started but I know that I feel extremely frustrated these days, trying to get people to GET ME! It’s not even that I wish they’d agree with me totally, but that would be nice at times too! It’s more that I just wish to be understood, not looked at like I’m crazy and then maybe a heart and empathy would be nice to top it off! I’m not that complicated really! I don’t think anyway. How do I think some things but when I go to verbalize those same thots, the weirdest, other words come out of my mouth? Words that have absolutely nothing to do with what I’m thinking. It’s like my mind is a file cabinet and the files get all jumbled together and I’m grasping for at least one of them to make sense somehow. I pray for wisdom and understanding but I seem to be understanding the Bible better these days than my own words. Not such a bad trade off at all! (Now, if I could just speak in Biblical language to everyday people, yeah, right.) I’m thankful for that knowledge because I need to know hear His words in my everyday circumstances much more than I need to know my own words. One thing for sure, when His words are in my mind, the enemy can’t get in there and mess with my imagination as much! Life is hard enough without having to deal with Satan every waking second! I can quote words to praise songs better than I can speak lately because I’m surrounded by it most of the time. Positive input! But there does have to be a balance, if I’m going to continue to home school my kids, so that I make sense to them.
Dear God, give me clarity of mind, not a blank mind where evil can get in, but clear and organized thoughts! Give me wisdom and understanding. Thank you for making Your Word easier, in places, for me to understand these days! I need to know Your Word, Your truths, Your promises! You hold me close and hold me up and I feel Your arms of love around me! You can bring order to my thoughts and peace to my entire body! Calm the anxieties and forgive me for allowing them to surface. I trust You to know what’s best for me and I surrender my mind, my thoughts and my whole being to Your perfect will! And thanks, God, for getting me, just the way I am! Challenged and all! In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.


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