So Tired of Hard

Posted: July 5, 2009 in Just Me, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

I know “God hath not promised sun without rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain” and so on……but……

Ugh! Major Ugh!

I’m so tired of “HARD” when we’ve already had “HARD”! When does it end or actually get “Easy” for more than a minute here and there with the here and there’s –  few and far between?

You know how when you’ve more than earned and then  finally get a vacation scheduled and you have to work extra hard the couple of days right before it to even get to go, as if you have to go and prove you actually even deserve it in the first place? Or you get a minute taste of “easy” and you get your hopes up thinking “yes, finally, I can breathe again!” and woosh, the air gets let out of your balloon again but this time you’re not even holding on so you hit bottom really hard and start all over AGAIN! Or you tend to see a hint of light at the end of the tunnel and woah! you’re in the pitch black dark again and there’s no relief in sight, let alone an inclination that it will get better?!

When did living month to month become living day to day and then change to living minute to minute? Well, actually it all started about a year ago when my husband lost his job.   There have been so very many of those infamous “go forward 3 steps and back 5 steps” to our life in the past year.  So many minutes: “praise – one minute and HELP ME GOD, I CAN’T BREATHE, LET ALONE KEEP MY HEAD ABOVE WATER!” you know those type minutes?

The only way we’ve managed is because God has carried us, held us and never left us! Our brains are overwhelmed, our hearts broken, dreams shattered and energy drained but our faith is still in our Heavenly Father who has never changed. Our strength is lacking and our hope is vague at times but we draw more strength from Him and any hope we’re able to achieve is only In Him!

It’d be so much easier if Jesus came back today and took us home but we see  that’s not the plan right now. So, that tells us that there’s more to do here, on earth, for Him, prior to His return.  I don’t have to like how man thinks they get to control so much of my life in the financial decisions, jobs, mortgage, bills,  etc. but I do have to live among their limited control and remind myself that God is bigger than this, and He is really the One in control! Not man!  They may continue making it difficult and so very hard to get up out of bed but they don’t get to determine my destiny! They don’t get to have the final say!

In studying the book of Esther right now, it is so evident to me the power that God has over even a king’s heart and how He is able to change a situation that looks absolutely hopeless (in man’s eyes) to be exactly how He wants it to work! I have to force myself to feel the impact of that power! I have to dig deep, crying from the pit of my stomach and reach up to the Hand that wants to pull me out of my helplessness!

Like I said earlier, He’s always been there. Even when difficulties in life hide Him from my view. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1) Faith is knowing, no matter what, that God’s hand is there all the time. There’s a song that says, “When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.”  We’ve been there so many times.  You have to know that even when you can’t see Him, He’s there. The times  I can’t see God in my life I have to keep moving back toward the Word, His promises,  His people until the only view is God. It’s only then that I can see His hand again!

Sometimes it’s even hard to simply count your blessings in the midst of “HARD”  but it’s absolutely crucial to your “survival”.  You have to be reminded on a daily basis that there is even one more thing to be thankful for, one more thing you might have accomplished, one more awful moment that you survived and then realize it was all because of GOD!  Be sure to give Him the glory, give Him the praise and put all your heartfelt faith and hope in only Him! He will sustain you! He will hold you! He will never leave you! He loves you! He knows all about what you’re going through so let Him guide you through it! He wants to dry my tears and mend my heart! He’s my Father!

  1. candyf says:

    How are you? write me soon.. would love to know how life is…

    • lhug143 says:

      Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, i haven’t blogged in ages, as you can see… was so good to see your smiling face, I miss you! Sounds like you guys are hoppin’, We’re so glad for you and all the success you’re experiencing! I hope you’re all well and doing great! We’ll have to talk soon! I’m so tired tonight, emotions and work and home schooling still. Ugh, I’m gonna hit the hay a little early tonight, I think. Take care of you and keep me updated. Love ya lots girlfriend, LeeAnne
      btw, do you have facebook? I seem to be on there more with my teens and our yearbook class that I teach (teens in homeschool)

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