Trust and Obey

Posted: July 2, 2008 in Just Me, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear God, I’m coming to you with a lot tonight but I know you tell me to give it all to….here goes: Scott fell off a ladder, he’s scared, he’s anxious, he’s in extreme pain and he wants to trust you completely. This is so hard for him because he’s used to being the one to take care of us, not the other way around, and now even I can’t take care of this one! See, as you know, we don’t have insurance, his work is not the type that he’s allowed vacations nor sick days so…if he doesn’t work, he doesn’t get paid! You tell us to trust You, to put it all on your shoulders and not take it back. I’m tired, emotionally drained from dealing with our so called discount program for medical, we’re facing another Dr. visit tomorrow at the Ortho who will determine his immediate and distant future so….it’s all in Your very capable hands. I’m fighting the tears. I’m trying to be strong and place all my hope, trust and faith in You! I know you’re so much bigger than all of this! I know you’ve always taken care of our needs and you’ll provide for us this time too! I pray for our interaction between each other also Lord. It’d be easy to take this out on each other and get huffy with each other, which neither of us want! The pain pills and muscle relaxers are helping some, that’s great! His outlook goes from terrified to calm depending on the minute we’re going through. I also pray for strength, patience to deal with my very helpful children. I need to feel your arms of love holding me up and keeping me tolerant. I look forward to seeing how You will carry us through this one God. It seems we were just here, but it was back in 1994, he got injured, was out of work for months, we ended up financially in a big hole we thought we’d never get out of, no insurance since new jobs, ended up selling everything to start over and it took many years to get back on our feet. You sustained us then and You will now, I know this! We’re claiming all of Your promises and we’re not taking it back God. It’s Yours! Thank You for what You’re going to do and how You’re going to take care of us AGAIN-STILL! Ok, so the tears did come but they’re tears of trust and faith-relief! We love You! In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

Update: 7/2/08 Scott found out from the Ortho that he’ll be out of work for at least 2 weeks. No work=no pay. We’re filing with short term disability but that will take time. I may need to try to find something temporary with Kelly services which I don’t really know how I feel about that, right now I feel numb. Just trying to keep the faith and trust completely. No other options at this point. He did end up breaking his toe on this last fall so it’s in a boot, toe is in a splint and he’s on muscle relaxers and pain pills. His family comes tomorrow. I hope I can fake it for them. My headaches are coming back. I know I need to let go and let God! I’m trying! I re-thought that statement, I know I don’t have to fake it with them, they love me as I am! They understand as do so many other friends and family that are lending their prayers and support right now and always! I am so blessed to have them and to have Scott! I’d be so lost without him! We have 2 pages of scripture, front and back, that we’re each claiming personally, off and on throughout the day so that we continue to trust and FROG-Fully Rely On God! What a difference a matter of minutes make with moods, huh? But then I never said I wasn’t moody! That’s one of my least favorite traits about myself. We’re good right now!

July 9th – trying to deal with everyday life, one obstacle at a time…let’s see, mentally/physically/emotionally challenged LeeAnne backed the car up and over a pile of rocks and got it stuck, the A/C went out upstairs, the fax machine had to run out of cartridge/ribbon at just the time we were expecting an important Dr.’s fax, the printer ink went out when I needed to scan a receipt to get reimbursed for medical stuff, the new spark plugs did not fix the riding mower, the list continues….but…..2 1/2 hours after digging through tons of rock, crying out to God for more strength, rotating to various uncomfortable positions on the hot rocks, I managed to see the light through to the other side and clear enough rocks from the heap to shove a 2×4 underneath and drive off the heap of rocks. Fortunately, I did not puncture nor damage anything under the car-Thank God!!! After numerous attempts to start the push mower, mow about 5 rows at a time, and only about 10 bags full of grass I managed to mow part of the backyard, which only took about 3 hours. The rain keeps coming and the grass keeps soaring toward the heavens. The past few days I haven’t slept well but the entire family had taken to the living room, the only room with A/C, where each person with their pallet or futon allowed us to grab a little sleep. Thank God for a living room big enough for all of us to sleep! Body parts I forgot I had are hurting and my mind is going, remember the back up over the rocks? I couldn’t tell you how many times I made that trip without coming anywhere near that pile of rocks. The exhaustion has finally caught up with me to the point of emotional outbursts left and right. I knew my wonderful and amazing hubby did a lot but I had no idea how much until I tried to be me and him all in one incompetent body! However, my sweet “mother-in-love” (as Barbara Johnson, the author, is known) and perfectly describes mine too, brought me a copy of a very special testimony of a very dear friend from our previous church. I had to run errands today so I took Teresa’s testimony with me. I bawled my eyes out, felt relieved, felt strengthened, out of control, just every emotion you can imagine while listening to her heart felt experience and where it took her! See…she’s survived cancer and I have the nerve to wah, wah over this petty stuff! Yeah, it is a big deal to me because it is my reality lately! I loved how she kept going back to the song by our praise team: “Wait upon the Lord, strength will come when you wait upon the Lord!” You wouldn’t believe how many times the past few days, I’ve prayed those simple yet total surrender filled words: “God, give me strength!” (especially while digging through those rocks) Guess what? Last night, lying on my living room mattress, reading my Bible, listening to my sweet family snore and slumber, I felt such a peace and finally drifted off to sleep. This morning I woke up several times but each time I felt more and more rested than the time before! It was amazing! I got more and more excited each time I woke up. It was kind of weird, actually. I’m glad no one was witnessing my giddy-ness. It was like I looked forward to rolling over for even more because with each little nap, I knew I’d be even more renewed than the last time. I was getting wowed by what God was doing right then! Strength did come and just in time. I had to go to Conway today, about an hour away and needed much sleep to make the trip, in the heavy downpour, attend a class and then drive back home this evening. I did it, well, we did it-me and God! Know what? The a/c still doesn’t work and the lawn is even higher, we’ll all sleep in the living room again tonight but we’re smiling, hugging, and thanking God for holding us in His capable arms and most importantly: we’re waiting on the Lord! His timing isn’t ours right now but……it’s always best! Can’t wait to be on the other side looking back! 🙂

7/16/08:    Scott was released today to return to work again! Thank God! Basically the ortho said to try it and see, but he thinks it should be alright as long as Scott puts the boot back on if he needs to, otherwise, take Ibuprofen.  (which hasn’t helped at all in the past with pain) We’ll see how that part goes.  He still has some pain but he’s to do some exercises with his right ankle to get more mobility back into it but the x-rays looked good today! The swelling is almost all the way gone! He will probably head out on Sunday so he still has a few more days to recuperate more! The main reason it took so long was because of it being an impact sprain (his entire weight came down on that ankle) and torn ligaments plus the swelling. The broken toe part isn’t really hurting him since he had also broke that same toe in the past so this most recent break (the ladder fall) isn’t really urgent. He has a very high tolerance for pain. So now we’re trusting God to provide for all the priorities and we’re just not trying to add any extras, if ya know what I mean. Thanks again for your prayers and faithfulness!


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