Can You Hear Me Now?

Posted: June 2, 2008 in Just Me
Tags: , , , , , ,

I can look back now to the past few weeks when I felt so yuck and even wondered, at times, when I would ever be well again. What a wimp! I’m really embarrassed at how much I let it all bother me when there are so many other people out there really suffering! But in the midst of it all, I did feel so frustrated and I have to admit there were times I found myself begging God to hear me. (like He wasn’t) Yesterday, at church, I heard the perfect sermon for my attitude: “Can You Hear Me Now?” It would be so easy for me to reiterate every single point Dr. Davis covered because I was actually taking notes so I wouldn’t forget. There were so many times that David cried out to God and even asked if He was there. Psalms 13 I was reminded: God knows we’re hurting! We plead as if our ways are above His! We have to ask for the wisdom to understand His answer and know that His timing’s always perfect! Then, finally, we conclude: “I’m trusting”…that’s when we manage to get our eyes off of our problem and back on God! Hebrews 11:13: “It takes more faith to trust God when you don’t get what you ask for then when you do.” Remember C.S. Lewis’ words: “If you can’t trace His hand, you can trust His heart!” This is so true and comforting to me!

In addition to such a perfect sermon and feeling as if God was allowing all the sickness and downtime to happen to me because it just had to be His way of speaking to just me about something very important: I had also started reading, for the billionth time: “How to Listen to God” by Charles Stanley. No, there was no great revelation but I was enlightened about something I needed reminded of again…..and….if it got me to searching for answers by way of His Word and the spiritual leaders in my life then it was worth it! I say this half-heartedly still because I am still waiting to truthfully feel it in my heart. A friend of mine told me that it’s hard for moms to be sick and we’re pretty much “not allowed”… so she really felt for me, being a mom herself and knowing how life seems to continue in spite of our weaknesses! I guess I wanted some pampering and you know what? I actually did get some – it was sooo nice! It’s ok to want to babied some times! I hated every part of feeling less than myself and it lingered longer than I wanted but….my family and friends showed me so much of their hearts during this weird time and I also had to accept, once again, that His timing was better than mine-AGAIN! He never left me, He heard my pleas for some relief and He knew just what I needed! Now, if I can just remember that without having to go through it a bunch more times… but I doubt it, I tend to be somewhat stubborn! I’m so thankful He is always accessible & cares for all my weird little details that seem so big to me!

  1. Kim Darnell says:

    oh man, I am such a baby when I’m sick or hurt!! Glad you learned what you were supposed to…that’s the cool part…listening and actually being able to hear! You know that Michael W. Smith song that talks about all the “un”s but says I’ve never been unloved. We are so many things but never unloved…yay!

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