So Much to Think About

Posted: May 14, 2008 in Just Me

You know, I must really be comfortable with where I am in life right now because I’ve been so willing to be totally transparent. I’ve also been more genuine and not quick to answer. Thinking things through so much or over analyzing things can just drive me absolutely crazy to the point of the “oh just forget it” attitude. Know what I mean? I’ve learned (only just recently) to back off and let my sweet husband handle some of what I thought was my responsibilities, simply because some one else might think they are. I was raised that if the phone rang, you answer it. If some one asks you a question, you answer or you’re being rude. If an adult tells you something, you do it and with the right attitude or it’s disrespect. Shortly before my Mom had her stroke last year, she and I discussed that last thought a little and it took over 40 years for her to admit to me that they shouldn’t have taught us that way but that it’s ok to have a different opinion or feel differently as long as you voice it respectfully. She could see her daughters, now handling their children, based on her teachings and she was siding with the kids this time. I think all of us moms do that about one thing or another with what we’re teaching our kids, even today. But, back to the responsibilities, I guess that some of it was just my needing to feel needed since I’m a stay-at-home mom, (thank the Lord and my wonderful hubby), and there are times I initiate my own feeling of incompetence in helping to support our family. My husband reminds me I do more than my part and of my necessity to this family. Mother’s Day was awesome, as a matter of fact. They asked what I wanted and I requested to do absolutely nothing but go to church, which we all did together of course. Then, it was truly my day. No duties, didn’t lift a finger. Scott and the kids did it all and I felt so loved. It’s a huge reminder that it’s not all about me. (follow me – it makes sense) Thinking that I have to handle everything or it doesn’t get handled right? Ha! No, I don’t think of me as a control freak but my purpose in life is raising and educating our children to be Godly, respectful, loving and the best they can be so that’s a full time job. I love that job! I love working on being the best wife I can be also. Some of you know that I got a second chance with even being able to rate a 2nd relationship/marriage so I’m learning to back off and let God handle things more, He does such a better job than I do. I also let Scott handle more of the “help me’s” that he’s always been so willing to do and I had to accept. It’s never easy but it’s so much of a lighter load when I lean more on God, I’m just a little stubborn at times and it takes Him prodding me a little in love. I tend to give it over to Him and take some of it back and that’s like saying, “I can do better.” That calls for a big “NOT!”

So…what’s on your mind?

  1. Kim Darnell says:

    Thanks for your transparency, LeeAnne.

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